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2016 2017 左永安顧問 左記歐洲商行 安永經營管理顧問 台北左府(無極)道德宮 台大 台師大 EMBA 共通核心職能 TTQS ICAP PMP 很多人臨終前說出他們一生裡最後悔的事 Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

 

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

原文是一名叫Bronnie Ware的護士寫的。

Bronnie Ware專門照顧那些臨終病人,

所以有機會聽到很多人臨終前說出他們一生裡最後悔的事。

她作了一個概括,有5件事是大多數人最後悔的。

By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)
 
                                                 
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
 
It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
 
 
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
 
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle. 
 
 
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
 
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly ,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
 
 
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships. 
 
 
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
 
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
 
 
 
後悔的事一

我希望當初我有勇氣過自己真正想要的生活,而不是別人希望我過的生活。

這是所有後悔的事中最常聽到的。

心理學上有個理論,較之那些我們做過的事,人們後悔的往往是那些沒做的事。所以當人們在生命盡頭往回看時,往往會發現有好多夢想應該實現,卻沒有實現。你的生活方式、你的工作、你的感情、你的伴侶,其實我們多少人過著的是別人希望你過的生活,而不是自己真正想要的生活——又可能,一直以來你把別人希望你過的生活當作是你想要的生活。

當你疾病纏身時,才發現其實自己應該而且可以放下很多顧慮,追求你要的生活,似乎已經晚了一點。
 

後悔的事二


我希望當初我沒有花這麼多精力在工作上。

護士說這是她照顧過的每一個男病人會說的話。因為工作,他們錯過了關注孩子成長的樂趣,錯過了愛人溫暖的陪伴,這是他們最深的後悔與愧疚。其實對於現在的職業女性來說,這也將成為一個問題。

如果把你的生活變簡單些,你也許會發現自己在做很多你以為你需要做其實不需要你做的事。騰出那些事佔的空間,可能你會過得開心一點。
 

後悔的事三


我希望當初我能有勇氣表達我的感受。

太多的人壓抑自己的感受與想法,只是為了“天下太平”,不與別人產生矛盾。漸漸他們就成了中庸之輩,無法成為他們可以成為的自己。其實,有很多疾病與長期壓抑憤怒與消極情緒有關。

也許當你直言不諱,你會得罪某些人。但可能從此以後因為你的中肯,你們不打不相識;又或者翻臉,正好讓你擺脫這種需要你壓抑自己感受才能維持的累人關係。不管哪一種結果,你都是贏家,不是嗎? ——不過當然,直言不諱還是有底線的。
 

後悔的事四


我希望當初我能和朋友保持聯繫。

老朋友的好,我們總要到自己有事了的時候才會想到。

多少人因為自己忙碌的生活忽略了朋友忽略了曾經閃亮的友情。很多人臨終前終於放下錢、放下權,卻放不下心中的情感與牽掛。朋友也好,愛人也罷,其實生命最後的日子裡,他們才是我們最深的惦念。
 

後悔的事五




我希望當初我能讓自己活得開心點。

也許有點出乎意料,但這一條也在前5之中。很多人直到生命的最後才發現,“快樂是選擇”。

他們在自己既定習慣和生活方式中太久了,習慣了掩飾,習慣了偽裝,習慣了在人前堆起笑臉。就像五月天的那首歌,“你不是真正的快樂,你的笑只是你給的保護色”。他們以為是生活讓他們不快樂,其實是他們自己讓自己不快樂了。

只有臨終的時候才會發現,別人怎麼看你又有什麼關係呢?傻也好,怪也罷,能有真心的笑,比什麼都值得。

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2016 2017 左永安顧問 EMBA PMP TTQS 共通核心職能 任何系統都包括要素、連結和功能三要件,具有反饋迥路、適應性、動態性、目的性、層次性、時間延遲等特性,且可以自我組織、保護和演進,衍生全新的系統。能夠解決問題的系統應能同時達成個體和系統的總體目標。

 
 洪瑞浩 工商時報
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